The Denied Humanity

Posted on November 16, 2012

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A day after the umpteenth attack in the endless conflict between Israel and Palestinians, where many innocents lost their lives, I am totally tired, unable to find any valid explanation, not only to this war, but to the whole humanity.
I always happen to simply affect indifference when I am acknowledged about a new conflict, a new tragedy, as the pain and the rage are too overwhelming. So I choose not to show my feelings, but this does not mean I choose not to care.
Human rights have always been of primary importance for me and conflicts and sufferings have built up my conscience and the inner sense of justice I have been carrying since I was a child.
I have faith in possibilities, I strongly believe that the right word at the right time can change a human being and make them better.
No, I am not ingenuous: I am 24 and I have already lost a lot of naivety and hope, but I still think we do have a brain, a soul and a mind which can work together and enable us to be magnificent.
However, most of the times, I let the wickedness of this world win. Today is one of those days and, unable to sleep, I woke up with a question hammering in my head: Why are we so mean?
That there is no humanity I learned it in primary school when the History teacher introduced us to wars, inequalities, injustices, slavery, atrocities, indifference. That’s our history, our roots, our essence.
All my mind can recall is exploitation of human beings, sacrifices, struggles, persecutions, tortures, whole ethnic groups enslaved because considered inferior, as if we were powerful and wise enough to decide for another individual’s fate.
I am atheist, I refuse any idea of god but, at the same time, I think that playing the God’s role will not lead us to anything good.
We are all born equal, we should stop considering ourselves superior, we will all end up in a grave six feet under; good food for worms, our cadavers will all taste the same.
Today I woke up with a sudden and violent nausea that left me breathless.
It is the nausea of human beings, I feel disgusted by my own kind; people full of contradictions who, every day, produce new, crueler  more merciless ways to annihilate, to spread death, pain and misery. People who are totally unable to live next to each other, to accept and like each other’s differences and every time I end up asking myself: why?
Hate and suffering are so obviously useless, avoidable and the more I question human kind and its flaws, the more I get confused, frustrated, horrified.
That there is no humanity in what we do, in what we are, I learn it every day by reading a news-paper, there are so many conflicts that some of them end up being secondary. As if there were secondary people, whose life comes after many others’ life.
Take Syria for example, where people have been left alone with their destiny. I can’t believe that in 2012 there are no means powerful enough to impede a massacre. We just do not want to.
Look what happened in Ruanda in 1994. History is bound to repeat.
There is no glory, no salvation, no consolation. We do not deserve any of it, we are not great enough and if a God exist, he should not forgive us for the cruelty we adopt to create our own ecosystem.
What is so fascinating about hate and war and persecution?
Wouldn’t all us live much better if we stopped these crusades, if we laid down our arms and concentrated all our energies on our beloved, our passions, our hobbies, a normal life without a single assassination, without any prejudice, no blame, no burdens, no shame, just human kind as it has to be?
Why are hate and destruction so appealing? Why do we have this uncurbed desire of destroying anything slightly different around us?
Are we that stubborn, ignorant, miserable that we will never understand from the past- a shameful past we created and to which we constantly refuse the right importance?
Why should I love this and accept it as part of what we are if I strongly believe we could be much better? Because we could, if only we wanted.
What does it take to get back that humanity we are ready to profess, defend on the street and, at the same time, we are ready to dismiss every time there is a weapon and and an excuse ready to use?

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